Bitter Clouds
by paintinglies
Summary: And for the first time in Alex's life, she tasted the bitterness of reality. Jalex if you squinted, rated T for mild language.


Title: Bitter Clouds  
Summary: and for the first time in Alex's life, she taste the bitterness of reality. Jalex if you squinted.  
Rating: T, for mild language.

A/N: My first Jalex story! YAY:D This was supposed to go a totally different way when I wrote it, but it turned out like this. I'm sorry if there's a few (or a lot!) of spelling, grammar, tense, etc. mistakes, I don't have a beta, and I'm not the greatest at proofreading. AND I'm also sorry if the characters are a little OOC! Despite these mistakes, I hope you like this! UPDATE: Just a few grammar, spelling, etc. mistakes that I found, and fixed!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Wizards of Waverly Place, or else Alex and Justin would be together now ;D

* * *

Reality had always been a funny thing to Alex. She lived on a cloud, where dreams and reality were all mashed together, until there was really no way to tell if she was in life or imagination. Of course, living in a state of mind where she never really pondered anything at all, (except maybe her next prank on Justin), meant that she never thought before she leaped. Alex never stopped to think how deep the water was, or how the waves could gulp her down in a single second, she just _plunged_ into the unknown waters, crossed her fingers and hoped for the best. Reality always consisted of consequences and truth, two out of the three things Alex disdained.

Yet maybe Justin had something to do with Alex's ignorant habit. Even when Alex was just a small little thing, she always managed to get into mischief, no matter how many times she had gotten into it a few hours ago. There had been the time when she was 6 and was eating cereal with orange juice for dinner when she "accidently" spilled her bowl full of juice all over their mother's best tablecloth. Or the time when Alex was 8 and ripped her father's special collectible baseball cards to do a magic trick she saw on TV. Or when Alex was 5 and still jealous of 3 year old Max and hid his new stuffed teddy bear in her closet, near the myriad of board games and the box of Justin's things she "borrowed". All of those times Justin couldn't help it. Seeing his sister with a furrowed brow, a pout, and puffy red eyes were too much. He spent hours trying to get the irregularly shaped orange stain out of the pure white tablecloth, while Alex sat close by with tears still visible on her chubby cheeks. He had carefully taped their father's baseball cards together, while Alex sat nearby, watching Justin's hard work. And it was Justin who had convinced Alex to give the stuffed bear back, exchanging his slice of chocolate cake for dessert, for the toy back.

And the promise.

That promise Justin and Alex had made when they were still both in junior high. That he'd never leave her. Ever. Ever. Ever. That he would always be there for her when she needed him.

Alex may not live in reality, but a promise was a promise and she knew that he'd keep it.

But now that Justin was practically 18, he was going to college. The once neat coffee table was now sprawled with colorful college pamphlets boasting their claim-to-fame, the advantages of going to their college, and everything else.

Alex was beginning to relax on the bright orange couch for her weekly watch-TV-until-her-eyes-fall-out, when the pamphlets caught her eye. Well, actually, she was looking for the remote on the coffee table, and the pamphlets were right where the remote usually was.

She started to flip through the incessant amount of the pamphlets, looking at all the possible colleges. Yale, Harvard, Stanford, UCLA, Alex's eyes scanned the top of the packets, her eyes furrowing as she went on.

Alex never really thought of Justin actually leaving. It always seemed so long off, and when she did think of it, she always thought that Justin would go to NYU, or some other college nearby.

But never _this_ far.

All of a sudden, Alex heard the clip clop of someone's footsteps and she carelessly threw the pamphlets back on the coffee table, and walked to the fridge.

It was Justin who came down from the stairs, and he also strolled to the fridge, standing right behind Alex.

"Anything good?"

Alex, who hadn't noticed him, jumped up, yelped, turned around and saw that it was only Justin.

"Fuck. You scared the shit out of me," Alex whispered, and turned back around and continued to rummage around in the fridge. She finally settled for a piece of chocolate cake, Mom's best. Alex sat on the kitchen counter as she shoved it into her mouth by the forkful, and watched Justin as he got out a glass and the carton of milk. He poured himself the last full cup of milk, threw the carton in the trash, and took a spot next to Alex.

"So. You're almost 18," Alex casually said, while not actually saying it for casual reasons at all.

Justin raised his eyebrows. "Um. Yeah. What about it?"

Alex was hoping he would mention something about college. Obviously not. "Well. You know. College. Right?" Gosh, she sounded like an idiot.

"Yeah."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So what college are you going to?" Alex said it with a more obvious tone than needed, and she quickly regretted it.

"A lot of teachers told me I should go to Stanford but I don't know. It's really far away from New York."

Yes. _Yes. Far away_. He was on the right track.

"But I might go to MIT. I mean, it's not too far away from here, only four hours by car and it's has great engineering courses."  
MIT. MIT. Alex was hoping for somewhere in New York. MIT was in Massachusetts, Alex couldn't wait four freaking hours in a car ride, especially with her parents and Max.

Alex began to curl her hair around her pointer finger. "What about NYU? You can still live at home, and it wouldn't be any different from right now," Alex suggested.

Justin stared blankly at her, and then finally answered. "NYU? Well, I mean, yeah, but it has always been my dream to go to MIT. And, no offense or anything, but I sort of _want_ to get away from you guys."

"Oh."

It was an awkward silence between them. Alex's cake, unfinished and Justin's cup half empty stood between them. Suddenly Alex jumped off the table, put the last bite of cake in her mouth and finished the last of Justin's milk.

"Alex! I was going to drink that!" He began to chase Alex around the couch, trying to snatch the plastic cup with milk from her hands. Alex, giddy with laughter, contributed her part by pushing Justin, in which he responded with a loud yell.

"God, this is so stupid. I'm going upstairs," Justin sighed and ran up steps.

And Alex, (who was now bored because her game had ended) acting on impulse (and maybe acting on Alex logic), shoved the whole stack of the college pamphlets in between some thick volumes on something or another, and feeling pleased with herself, skipped up the stairs with a cheerful aura.

And for the first time since the college pamphlet incident, Alex felt truly happy.

* * *

That night, Justin came stomping into Alex's room, asking for his packets.

"What packets?" Alex's voice was sickeningly sweet, and Justin rolled his eyes.

"You know, the ones you hid?" Justin's fiery gray orbs met Alex's mischievous brown ones, and a classic Alex-Justin fight was bound to begin.

"I don't know what you're talking about Justin," Alex said, still using the I'm-an-innocent-little-angel voice.

Suddenly, Justin marched across Alex's room, grabbed her arm, and whispered, "You will tell me where the fucking pamphlets are right now, Alex Russo, or I'll tell Mom about the party you went to last weekend." He was squeezing Alex's arm with such a tight grip that she felt salty tears rise in her eyes. She held them back; she wasn't going to let Justin see her cry.

"Ow, Justin, you're hurting me," was all she could say to show her weakness.

"Then tell me where the damn pamphlets are."

Alex closed her eyes. "Living room bookshelf, third row from the top, right shelf, between the two big brown ones." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Thank you." Justin let go of Alex's arm, which was now laying limp in Alex's lap, and he walked out of her room and closed the door.

And for the first time in Alex's life, Justin had physically hurt her.

Justin may have found his college pamphlets but Alex was still trapped in a mix of confusion. Her chest felt heavy when she thought of Justin leaving for college, and yet, she was angry at him too. The whole night, Alex avoided him and he avoided her. All afternoon, all of dinner, all of late night. Their parents decided not to question it, they liked the peace that was held in the house, because for once Alex wasn't fighting and Justin wasn't yelling. And when it was time to go to bed, even as they passed each other, they didn't dare utter a single syllable to each other. Alex simply climbed into her bed, and fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

_She was trapped in a room, cold and gray, and she couldn't tell whether to be scared or intrigued. But suddenly, a group of very familiar voices reached Alex's alert ears._

"I'm leaving Alex."

_There was a quick silence before someone else called out._

"Alex, come downstairs right now, your brother's leaving!"

"Justin? Mom?" Alex yelled, as she frantically searched for a door or even a window, to confirm her questions.

"I guess she's not coming down. Well, I guess this is goodbye son."

"Yeah, me and Alex are going to-"

But the rest of it was lost to Alex, because she was too busy screaming for help.

"I'm here! Someone help me! Get me out of here!"

But they must have made no notion hearing because no one came up or down, or left or right, and the door creaked unusually loudly, and with a shuffle of footsteps, the door slammed, and Alex couldn't scream-

* * *

The beeping alarm clock, shook Alex wide awake. Her stomach was churning and her chest clasped shut, constricting her lungs. Alex could barely breathe, she was panting for oxygen. She needed a shower. A long, chilling shower to wash of her dreads and distress. Alex rose from her warm bed and ran to the bathroom, when she collided into someone, making her stumble a few steps before making a crash, head-first right into the wall in front of her.

"Ow." Alex rubbed her forehead, as she mouthed "ow" silently this time, multiple times.

"Watch where you're going Alex."

Alex slowly brought her head up as she clutched it, seeing the last person she'd ever wanted to see right now.

Justin.

She rose from her fall.

"Um, Justin can you move? I'm going to take a shower," Alex said, trying to move Justin out of her path. Yet Justin firmly held his place.

Damn, when did he become so strong?

"Look, can you move to the left just a little so I can just go to the bathroom? Pretty please?" Alex's voice was dripping with the sweet sarcastic voice she used with Justin to get her way.

Suddenly, Justin's all-knowing smirk morphed into something with horror and worry, and Alex sighed exasperatingly.

"What? Something on my face? Oh it's me, right? Heard that one before Justin." Alex's expression turned sour.

"Alex, you're bleeding."

"What?"

"Your forehead is bleeding." This time he made sure he said every vowel and consonant clearly, and Alex rolled her eyes as she felt around for something wet. She took her fingers off her forehead and looked at it.

Red.

Alex screamed.

"Shut up Alex, its fine, look it's only a small cut, I can bandage it up for you-"

"No, get _off_ me, I can do it _myself_. And anyways, you're the one who bumped into me!"

"Alex, stay still-"

"NO! GO AWAY; I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!"

Suddenly, Justin just stood there, and looked at her, thought for a minute, and his frown turned into a tight-lipped smile.

"Yeah, you don't need my help. You're already 16, aren't you? And now this is all going to be convenient for you because I'm leaving in a few months."

"No, Justin, I didn't mean it in that wa-"

"Save it Alex. I'm going to Juliet's."

"Justin, no wait!" It was no use. Alex sank on the floor crying. Yesterday's and today's tears came flowing out freely but she didn't care if Justin saw her, she didn't care if blood was gushing out of her wound now, because she rather die if Justin didn't care anymore. He was probably off fucking Juliet anyways, not that she cared. No. That was wrong. She _did_ care. Why did she care again?

"Because I love him," Alex whispered, resolving her question that she couldn't answer for so long.

And for the first time in her life she tasted the bitterness of reality.

The night of the forehead incident, Alex couldn't take the silence. Sure, her pout record to her dad was two days, seven hours, and six minutes (not that she was counting), but not talking to Justin for a whole day made the guilt crawl and crawl and crawl up her spine, until it bit her right where it hurt and Alex _hated_ guilt. And anyways, Alex had that reckless juice pumping in her veins again, like before this whole freaking thing. When she actually didn't _care_ what everybody thought, because she didn't give a damn to what anyone else's opinions were.

So in the middle of the night, Alex crept out of her room, and ran into Justin's. She didn't bother to knock; she ran in and crawled under his covers, taking in his fresh soap smell, wanting to remember his scent when he was gone. Suddenly, Justin rolled over, facing Alex, and he groggily opened his eyes.

"Alex..," he muttered. "_Alex_?" He sat up, looking at the lying silhouette. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"I couldn't sleep. Sorry. I should leave now," Alex rose from his bed, but something held her back.

Justin.

His strong hand was clutched around Alex's arm, like before.

"Stay," he commanded and pulled Alex down onto the bed as he wrapped his arm around Alex's waist.

For the first time in a long time, Alex got a good-night sleep.

And maybe, just maybe, reality wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

* * *

A/N: Okay, THOUGHTS PLEASE! In my opinion I thought the ending was all weird an made no sense, but that was the best I could do. I have a sequel in my head, and it's possibly a chapter story, but I'm no good with chapters -.-" Enough of my rambles! Review? UPDATE: Haven't decided whether to make this a chapter story.


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